Music

I'm not an accomplished singer, by any means. I do miss singing Ben Fold's "The Luckiest" while having Laura accompanying me. And I miss listening Mom sing a song about the temple (I don't recall the title) while having Laura accompany her. Laura, you were an accomplished pianist. I could never get an accurate read on just how much natural talent you had (a great deal, I suspect) because what I did observe was how hard you worked and how diligent you were about practicing. It was always a little magical when you would start learning a new piece of music for me to listen to the transformation as you mastered the intricacies of something that at the beginning was just a little beyond your current skill level. It never took very long, of course, before your skills expanded. I remember how nervous you would get at piano recitals, even though you always played spectacularly and rarely made any miscues. I never could figure out a way to get you to relax, not worry about any wrong notes, and enjoy performing. Being a perfectionist sucks so much joy out of life, even though it can produce great results. I'm sorry I don't have recordings of your music to listen to now. I really miss hearing you play. Thank goodness I have the memories of your playing with all your heart and soul. I'm sorry I could never prevail upon you to sing with me in church. But I'm glad for the times we sat next to one another in meetings and harmonized as we sang hymns. Music remains my favorite part of worship and I feel you close when I sing. But I miss hearing your part and how good you could make me sound. Thanks for the magic. Love, Dad

April Fools

Lindsey reminded me recently of a time that Laura surprised me on April 1 by putting clear plastic wrap over the toilet. When I woke up and went to the bathroom, I was met with a very unexpected surprise that woke me right up! Apparently Laura was waiting in the living room waiting to hear noises emerging from the bathroom. When I charged into the living room to catch the culprit, it was obvious who was to blame because Laura was doubled over with laughter to the point she couldn't breathe. Lindsey tells me I pulled Laura by her feet into the bathroom and demanded that she do the cleaning up. Lindsey, my memory of this isn't as clear as yours. So I'm counting on you to weigh in with additional details or to correct any mistakes. Laura was not the only April Fools culprit. Every single year Lindsey would put a rubber band around the sprayer on the kitchen sink. When I went in for a glass of water during the night or in the morning, I would turn on the tap only to be shocked awake by an unwelcome shower. Lindsey's other little trick was to fill the sugar bowl with salt. As if breakfast cereal didn't already have enough sodium, Lindsey made sure we had an awful surprise to start the day.

February 11

Happy Birthday, Laura.

Remember how mad at me you would get when I repeatedly confused the date of your birthday (11th) with the date of my anniversary (12th)? I don't know why I couldn't keep your birthday straight, especially when my anniversary wasn't until July.

You would have been 25 years old today ... just getting started in life.

I wish I could celebrate this quarter-century milestone with you. Instead, I'll be having a piece of dark chocolate in your honor.

All my love,
Dad

I've been thinking about you a lot lately, Laur. I miss you. It's funny how sometimes I still have this urge to call you about something out of the blue. Or I can't remember which movie this one line was from and I want to get on facebook to ask you. I don't know if I'll ever get over that.

We went to the temple for you while Mom and Dad were here. Of course Dustin and I got lost and there was tons of drama and we ended up making everyone have to stay for a later session. When everyone was trying so hard to make sure everyone else was calm I imagined you rolling your eyes and yelling, "Shut it, all of ye!" You always knew how to handle the Oviatt family functions. :)

I love you.

I miss you, Laur. Sometimes I get so mad when I think of you and what happened that I can hardly stand it, but then I remind myself that you must have thought there was no other way. It doesn't stop hurting, but then I'll remember something great, like calling you the night Dustin first told me he loved me and we screamed together on the phone. I wish I could talk to you about how scared I am to have another baby. We really drifted those last few months, didn't we? I missed you but I was angry, too. I think you must have felt the same way.

You really did a number on us, leaving the way you did. Sometimes it still doesn't seem real. I just miss you a lot. I want to tell you how much I love you, I hope you already know. I hope you're able to look in on us every once in a while. You're probably busy, but I think you'd get a kick out of Silas. He's a brat and you'd love him. Sometimes he gets this mischeivious grin on his face that completely reminds me of you.

I really love you, Tohrkey.

~Snotface

One year later

Laura, you left a hole in my heart that does not heal. I am surrounded with reminders of you, many pleasant and a few painful. As we sort through our flooded belongings I continue to find some of your things that I had forgotten or sometimes didn't know about. Each triggers a memory and, occasionally, a smile.

As recently as this week I had correspondence with some of your friends and former roommates, who I believe love and miss you nearly as much as I do. How I wish you could have realized the many ways in which you touched and influenced the lives of others.

Your Utah siblings met tonight for a dinner in your honor. They called us from the restaurant so we could be connected for a few minutes. Some people sent flowers to Mom and me today, others called, and some close friends visited ... all thinking of us and remembering you.

Mom and I bought chocolate to celebrate your biggest vice. I got the real stuff, the dark chocolate you liked so much. I ate some and placed the remainder next to your urn. If it turns up missing I'll know you figured out a way to make it disappear.

Love,
Poopa

Silas

I just wanted to let you know, Laur, that you would absolutely love Silas now. He's an obnoxious monster but he's so dang cute.

He really loves music. He'll "read" books, flipping through the pages and singing to himself. When he's really upset the only thing that calms him down is singing primary songs. Whenever any kind of music comes on the radio, TV, or from one of his toys he starts dancing. He'll purse his lips, bounce up and down and wave his arms around like he's doing the chicken dance. (And I do mean any kind of music. He dances the same way whether it's Angela's hip hop or Dustin's classical music.)

This morning as I was getting ready he found a hair tie on the floor in my room. He put it on his arm, spread his legs really wide, bent his knees and pointed at the mirror making "psh, wah, shhh" noises like he was fighting someone. Then he'd stop, look at himself, and laugh.

When Dusitn or I come home from work after a long day Silas comes running to the door. As soon as he hears the knob turn he's there. He opens his mouth really wide in a huge smile and puts his arms out for us to pick him up. Then he wraps himself around us like a monkey and hold on so tight. He also gives kisses right on the lips.

He's very opinionated. He'll walk right up to you and yell "NO!" whenever he feels like you need to be put in your place. He lies about having a poopy diaper and HATES naptime.

I think you'd love him. Sometimes I think about how you two would have been as thick as thieves. He would have loved you too, especially because you would have spoiled him rotten and let him get away with everything. Don't even deny it.

Laura,

I miss you so much. I wish I could call you up and hear your blast laugh. It's just not fair.

Love you

Lindey

Memories

I've been thinking about Laura because we're expecting another baby and it reminded me of when Silas was born. Laura drove up from Provo to help us for a few days. She slept on our couch and was always there to hold Silas when I needed to nap, change a diaper, give me a backrub. She went grocery shopping for us and brought me a plate of dinner. I still remember that we had rotissere (sp?) chicken and grapes and it was the best thing I've ever eaten. :) Laura was so taken with Silas. They bonded immediately and he was so comfortable with her. These are some of my favorite pictures.

It was so special for me that Laura was able to come up and see Silas and was so willing to help out. I'm so grateful for these memories!

I missed you today.